Reaction
by LadyAlambiel
Summary: The General's reaction to the report could have been worse...maybe. Sequel to Unshaken.


Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.

Summary: The General's reaction to the report could have been worse...maybe.

A/N: A oneshot requested by quarterhorseranch. Hope you like it. This is part of my _A Light in the Darkness_ universe. Sequel to _Unshaken_, do not read if you haven't read _Unshaken_ first. Enjoy!

**Reaction**

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Some days Cair Paravel is boring, especially if Edmund and Peter are gone for whatever reason. However, Oreius' study wasn't nearly as boring as I expected. Cletus and Ardon were whispering in quiet yet urgent tones inside the parlor while a…a sound threatened to drown them out. I nearly lost my grip on the thick report I was carrying when I realized the horrid groaning noise was the sound of wood creaking (well, actually it sounded like wood was being murdered in a slow and painful manner) and it was coming from Oreius' study. The Faun and Centaur looked at me and I immediately shook my head, silently refusing to go in there. They nodded. I shook my head again then pointed at Ardon before jerking my thumb in the direction of the door (he was the biggest, _he_ should go see why Oreius is slowly murdering wood). Then, they both pointed to the report in my hands and then held up their empty hands. I glared at them. They were using the fact that I had a report to turn in to Oreius to blackmail me into seeing why the Kentauri was murdering wood in a torturous manner. That was low, that was really low, and I hate paperwork.

With one final glare at them, I walked to the door and knocked (shocking, I know but even I know better than to waltz in…actually, I've never waltzed in a door…something to do the next time I want to entertain myself). Of course, my knock was drowned out by a particularly excruciating creak. I opened the door almost peeked in before deciding it would be better just to go in before Oreius became a wood-killer (besides, peeking in would just give the Kentauri a perfect headshot…and he thinks I have no sense of self-preservation). Oreius was glaring at some papers on his desk with such intensity that I was surprised they weren't shriveled and cowering in a corner of the room. Or at least on fire. The sound of another tormented wood groaning drew my attention to Oreius' desk…he was strangling the edge of it. I watched as his knuckles whitened and his hands flexed causing the desk to let out another excruciating groan. Wow. That was the first time I ever heard wood cry "Uncle" and I really really hoped that the report earning such a reaction from Oreius had nothing to do with me.

"The desk surrenders."

The Kentauri didn't ease up on his grip but at least he stopped flexing his hands. His eyes snapped to me and I resisted the urge to say something that would likely end with me participating in some torturous training exercise. I heard the iron ring of his horseshoe contacting the marble floor as he stamped a hoof before he managed to actually speak instead of just standing there in his menacing cloud of doom, all mortals and fools beware my wrath persona. "What is it, Dame Sepphora?"

I held up the report, "Limited duty roster delivery. Why are you trying to kill your desk?"

He glared at me then blinked and looked down. I guess he hadn't registered that he was in the process making an inanimate wooden object cry. His jaw worked (one of the precursors to Oreius full out losing his temper) then he ground out, "It seems I cannot allow Wolfsbane and How to even visit an ally without they're stumbling into trouble."

I raised an eyebrow when he didn't continue, "And? What happened? Were they asked to fetch a shrubbery?"

Oreius looked at me and raised an eyebrow, "No. Why would you ask that?"

I just shrugged. I am curious, though; does a sly joke make a sound as it flies over Oreius' head? Probably and it would be saying in a tiny voice, 'heeeeeeeelp meeeeeee, heeeee haaaaas nooooo seeense oooooooof huuuuuuuumoooooor.' I barely stomped on the urge to snicker at the mental image I'd conjured in time to keep my lips from twitching. I cleared my throat, "No reason, I was merely speculating." No one in Narnia will ever understand the joke but I couldn't resist, "Ahem, it's not as though they ran into any knights who said 'Ni,' right?"

Oreius stared at me, "What? Of course not. What sort of knights would say 'ni' to people?"

"Amusing ones."

The desk groaned ominously again and this time I knew it was because I'd pushed his buttons a little too hard. "If you break your desk, how long would it take to replace?" He didn't answer and I nodded, "Oooookay, then I'll just assume that it will take long enough that you don't really want to kill your desk, right? Right. So you need a distraction to help alleviate the pressure without accidentally breaking the desk." Must not laugh.

Oreius stared at me. I took the opportunity to perch on the corner of his desk, thrust the limited duty roster at him so he automatically grabbed it, and then snatched the report before Oreius could stop me. He stamped his hoof again, but I ignored him. The report seemed routine and I didn't see what had tied Oreius' tail into knots until I reached the third page. I stared at it and then I closed my eyes, counted to ten, and opened them again. Nope, still there. Wow…just…wow… Those boys! "Why does Edmund always have to touch? Maybe next time you should tie his arms to his sides, so he can't touch anything with the potential to get him and Peter killed." Oreius just let out a long-suffering sigh and I kept reading, "Have you decided what you're going to do to them when they get back? I mean it would actually be ironically appropriate if you made them run suicides for a while. You could even have them do the suicide runs on the beach so the sand will add resistance and-" Oh no, I did not just say that. I closed the report and turned to Oreius, but I could tell it was probably already too late, he had the look he got right before he did something cruel and exhausting to his students. Uh oh. "Actually, you know what that was a terrible idea. I'm sure you can think of some particularly grueling exercise without me spouting off about other training runs."

Oreius merely took the report from me then inclined his head, "No, Dame Sepphora, I think your suggestion is most…appropriate. If they are too exhausted to move after completing these suicide runs of yours, then perhaps Wolfsbane and How will finally grasp the concept of not placing themselves in situations where even our allies are a possible danger to them. Now get off my desk."

I hopped off his desk and bit my lip…I can't believe I let the mention of suicide runs slip out. Ugh, I won't hear the end of it from Peter and Edmund for months. I shook my head as I headed for the door, pausing only when Oreius added, "And, Dame Sepphora, keep in mind that since Wolfsbane and How are currently not to be trusted to go on these sorts of visits without another knight along to keep them from hanging themselves after tripping down a flight of stairs. I have decided that _you_ will be their primary escort." Great, that's just what I wanted to hear and this meant if Peter and/or Edmund got themselves into a life-threatening situation (as usual), _I_ will be the one Oreius holds most responsible. "Sepphora, did you hear me?"

"Yes, Kentauri. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go make signs to attach to the back of their shirts saying "If I look lost, confused, injured, or am about to touch something I shouldn't, please return me to Dame Sepphora. She's the scary one with the knives who's going to stab you and shout at us if we're injured…again.""

Oreius looked at me in silence for a long moment then he laughed heartily, "You shall have to make it a scroll to fit such a warning."

I sniffed, putting on a feigned air of superiority, "My handwriting is neat enough that won't be necessary." I stalked out, muttering under my breath in Irish, but also hiding a slight smile as I heard Oreius' laughter behind me. At least, I had saved the Kentaur's desk from a slow and excruciating death. My good humor vanished when Oreius sent me a dossier pertaining to some meeting Peter was supposed to go a fortnight after he and Edmund return from Terebinthia. Ugh…I started writing the sign for Peter even as I plotted how to exact my revenge and hammer in the "don't touch anything" rule at the same time. If it's educational, then Oreius can't be mad if I happen to end up dragging an injured King home. And, I no longer feel guilty about unintentionally giving Oreius the idea for Peter and Edmund to complete suicide runs.

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**A/N: Please Read and Review! Tell me what y'all thought about this one and if you have more requests. **


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